You play fantasy football like a girl! Week 5 Fantasy recap

As I started tallying this week's scores and writing the recap, I was reminded of a certain scene in a particularly iconic movie:

To a group of boys in 1993, Porter saying that Philips plays ball like a girl is an absolute insult to the sanctity of Philips's boyhood and his ability to play baseball. I imagine there are still lots of boys out there who think this is still a classic insult, but I would like to think that female athletes are a bit more recognizable now. The American women's World Cup team won consecutive World Cups this summer and there is a seemingly endless stream of dominant American Olympic swimmers. We even have our own resident Big Ten Champion collegiate rower in our humble fantasy football league. 😉

After this week's games of fantasy football, we could all try to play fantasy football like girls a little bit more. Low Fat Greek Goedert shot herself a Deere to propel herself to the top spot in the league, followed closely by Goin' In Blind, who scored the top score of season, obliterated her competition, and sits 3.1 fantasy points behind Low Fat Greek Goedert. Those two teams look locked in for the season and will be surefire competitors the rest of the way. Good luck playing the girls! On to the recaps!

The Low Fat Greek Goedert and Nothin' Runs like a Deere matchup pit two of the top teams against each other. Both teams had significant investment in the Thursday night Rams performance, and neither team was disappointed in that high scoring affair. Neither team was prepared for the sudden onslaught of points that came on Sunday though. Deshaun Watson threw for 426 yards and five touchdowns, or 41.7 fantasy points, which accounted for nearly half of Nothin Runs like a Deere's points for the week. As an interesting bit of trivia, this week was the first week since 1965 that five players scored over 40 fantasy points. That individual brilliance though, wasn't enough to overcome the systematic excellence of Low Fat Greek Goedert's team. No player scored fewer than eight fantasy points, seven scored between 10-19 points, and Amari Cooper highlighted the team effort with 226 receiving yards and a touchdown, or 28.6 fantasy points. Greek Goedert took Nothin Runs like a Deere to the house, 132.4-98.7.

In keeping with our cervine theme (look it up kids!), the Reindeer Gamers played I am the Goat, who I think was supposed to be the Greatest Of All Time this season. Unfortunately, there are GOATs:

Exhibit A: GOAT

And then there are goats:

Exhibit B: goat

Which one is I am the Goat? Well, despite the team's decent weekly projection, games actually have to be played, and the Charger's defense was the top performer with 12 points. We'll just leave it at that and let you decide whether this team's a GOAT or a goat. This narrator will keep it neutral with Goat.
On the other side, the Reindeer Gamers continued to benefit from a breakout year from Chris Godwin, who had 24.5 fantasy points and two touchdowns this week. The Philly defense got in on the action as well, annihilating the New York Jets 31-6, accumulating ten sacks, three takeaways, and scoring two defensive touchdowns against one of the several teams jockeying for "worst team in the NFL" status. Their 35 points were more than enough to let the Reindeer Gamers coast to an easy victory that almost doubled I am the Goat's score, 136.4-70.8.

Goin' In Blind, as mentioned previously, scored the top score of the week and was one of the beneficiaries of those five players who scored more than 40 points. Christian McCaffrey is having himself a SEASON, and is currently projected as third in the MVP race. If he keeps this up, though, that is sure to rise. 176 yards rushing, two rushing touchdowns, 61 yards receiving and another score. 41.7 fantasy points. 'Nuff said. At that point, it was pretty much over for Lookin 2 Winovich, who had a respectable 18.5 fantasy points from Chris Carson. But Going' In Blind got the added bonus of a monster week from newly-acquired D.J. Chark, who scored twice to go with his 164 receiving yards, culminating in 28.4 fantasy points. Lookin 2 Winovich broke the 100-point barrier with 102.7, but Going' In Blind won this matchup without breaking a sweat, 150.1-102.7.

Team John's Winners needed a win this week, sitting at 1-3 and taking on England Excessive Force, who sat at 3-1 despite a fairly low number of points scored up to this point in the season. Luckily, Team John's Winners had one of the golden tickets of the week, with Aaron Jones putting up 42.2 fantasy points in the 34-24 Packers victory over the Cowboys. He was not only the leading rusher for the Packers, he was also their top receiver for the game and he scored all four of the team's touchdowns. #FreeAaronJones has been a rallying cry among Packers fans, as the Packers have been extremely reluctant to let what appeared to be a star running back flash his full ability. This game represented a prime opportunity for Aaron Jones to show his stuff, and he delivered. Fly, Aaron Jones, be free!
Excessive Force had several players fail to show up, but Allen Robinson of the Chicago Bears didn't get the memo, nearly winning a game over the Oakland Raiders in London singlehandedly with his 97 receiving yards, two touchdowns, and 21.7 fantasy points. Despite the effort, England Excessive Force never came close, as Team John's Winners smashed his previous weekly high and moved within one game of .500, 130.7-72.1.

Links Dawg Pound started the week in the hole against Better Luck Next Time, as the Rams allowed 30 points to the Seahawks on Thursday and ended with NEGATIVE one point. The rest of the team seemed content to sleep through the week as well, as Tyler Boyd's 18.3 and Justin Tucker's 16 fantasy points were the only Dawg Pound players to score in double figures. Better Luck Next Time cashed in one of those golden tickets too, as Michael Thomas scored twice and gained 182 receiving yards, good for 30.2 fantasy points. The 49ers defense also took the Cleveland Browns to school, with four forced turnovers, four sacks, and only allowed three points to the tune of 19 fantasy points. It was more than enough for Better Luck Next Time to cruise, as 119 points nearly doubled Links Dawg Pound's score of 59.9.

Last but not least, if we're going off of names alone, Provo Cougars Go Cougs seemed doomed to fall to the Albuquerque Cat Killas. Fortunately for the Cougars, the Cat Killas may or may not be showing up every week. Several players, including the kicker, laid goose eggs in the scoring column, either because they are just #badatfootball or injured. I'm not sure what kinds of cats the Cat Killas are planning on taking on, but this one might be worrisome:

Mewww...

Let alone one that looks at you with this level of contempt:

The game played out about as expected. Das Prescott led the Cougars with 23.2 fantasy points, even on an off day in which he threw three interceptions. Philip Lindsay carried the ball for 114 yards, a score, the Denver Broncos' first win of the season, and 20.7 fantasy points.  Leonard Fournette built upon last week's performance with 19.7 fantasy points to try and pull the Cat Killas out of ignominy, but the matchup was never really that close. Provo Cougars Go Cougs blew the pants off of the Albuquerque Cat Killas, 106-60.7.

For the week, we have a new high score for the season! Going' In Blind is leading us into the light with 150.1 points, with Reindeer Gamers second with 136.4 and Low Fat Greek Goedert third with 132.4. Team John's Winners, Better Luck Next Time, Provo Cougars Go Cougs, and Looking 2 Winovich also all broke the 100-point mark. As said WAYYY at the beginning of this post, Low Fat Greek Goedert is in first by virtue of her 4-1 record and 522.7 fantasy points. Going' In Blind needed 32 more yards out of George Kittle on Monday Night Football to take the top spot, but fell just short, so she's in second at 4-1 and 519.6 fantasy points. Provo Cougars is a bit behind, also at 4-1 and 504 fantasy points. Everyone else is 3-2 or worse, with Reindeer Gamers currently in the fourth playoff spot.

There are four teams on bye this week, so be prepared for those players to miss a game! As always, you can reach out with any questions, comments, complaints, or compliments. Have a good week!